Valentines Riddle💕

Well I did my time
and paid my grievancccces,
much more than was due.
And given the circumstances
A new set of teeth or at least lipo.

We were doing just fine
in Tennessee.
No amount of money is worth
The hell we lived to tell
that mess we went through.
For goodness sake!

You married a minimalist,
aaaand we have a kid now.

pexels-photo-585292.jpeg
We didn’t need extra and
life just got a lot
more complicated.

He accepted one
of many
generous offers,
top in industry
the envy of his peers…
( just stroking that ego 🍆)

pexels-photo-177598.jpeg

And it was too good to be true,
everything could have been easier.
We should have invested in a

  • night nurse
  • flown family in and…
  • trashed our belongings,

made some good use
out of that signing bonus.
Amirite?!?!
Sleep deprivation
took a toll on
the smartest man
I have ever met.

pexels-photo-262218.jpeg

This patience I have
is not natural.
Making it thus far,
enduring that messed up
ROAD TRIP!
Hell, I deserve an award!
But this man didn’t
marry NO fool!
And lucky for him
I’m not high maintenance
let’s start off
the compensation in the form of
sleep and comfort.

office-pen-calculator-computation-163032.jpeg

Let me give you
a little history…
Before I met my P.I.C❣️
(Partner In Crime)
I was a very content,
independent working female.
I enjoyed my single life
very much.
I took pride in
my own little
accomplishments.
(he hoots)

0A2A3B0C-0385-4C5D-BACF-C6411A863F70
We met while we
were both studying
in Georgia.
Unsuitably
I was the one
indebted…
to a useless study
I’ll admit.
(adding salt
to my many injuries).
I broke up with him
more than once,
but I’m irresistible💄💋💃🏻.

woman-mouth-teeth-sweets-37831.jpeg
I have been his
ride or die
these last 8 years.
And I tell you this…
Love is the only thing
that still has me here.

Let’s set things straight,
I am not a taking advantage
of our situation,
never have, nnnnever will.
I’m not materialistic
and I don’t care
for lavish things.
Going to the thrift store
is a hobby I really enjoy.
My lifestyle hasn’t changed,
just look at these nails
maybe I’m just lazy.
Whether I’m prideful
or just low maintenance,
frugality is a challenge
I take very seriously now💰

painting-fingernails-nail-polish-hearts-valentine-37553.jpeg
I am modest
unlike most women
in my situation.
I have this issue
about my dignity, too much pride.
Thank you,
and your welcome.
These are my grievances should it
be needed in a court order.
Just kidding, kinda

pexels-photo-45718.jpeg

Is it too much to ask
for a time out?
Euphoria pleads my sanity
Any wife of an egomaniac would.
All mothers of toddlers                           prey, peace and quiet.

baby-tears-small-child-sad-47090.jpeg
I want an outlet
to siphonnnn out this
eternal anxiety,
unplug myself.
I need reprieve…
aaaand in a form
that won’t have me
paying back the time
I took for myself.
I would also like praise.
Your degrees and titles
must feel good…

37F76064-9C98-4E49-B66D-97289FF071CD.jpegI’ve been holdin’ it down.

B26DFE67-E72E-4FD6-BDA7-FF56994BCFB6

Aren’t we just a match made in heaven!

Now where my gifts at?!                           (decipher the riddle)

🍭🍰💐💝🎁🍾🥂🛍

Advertisements

Cake Face

My feelings on makeup 💄

man-person-red-white.jpg

My feelings on Makeup 💄

 

I don’t like to wear makeup.

Having a layer of greasy crap

on the face

is really…

quite gross.

But I am appalled at how

I let myself out of the house

these days.

Its borderline offensive.

I’ll wear a cake face

from time to time,

to spare my family. 🤟

This last time

I beat my face to the gods

I got a REVELATION.

img_6280
I primed and applied

a layer of liquid foundation

to my face.

Then I used

a dry cotton rag

pressed it

onto my face

to soak up excess oil.

Then I thought to myself…

img_6272-1

1. Do people blot oil off their face before setting?!

It looked good.

And I don’t think it oxidized

as much either!

“Blotting absorbs the oils and emollients that take the stick out of lipstick while leaving the pigments intact.”More about blotting here 💋So who knows?

2. Next revelation,

lashes gurl!

Apply a good thick-

black coat on each pair

Then let dry.

Reapply  mascara,

let dry.

Using the lash wand

carefully focus on getting

gradual thickness

at the base.

Closely and neatly

wiggle that gunk in.

With patience and luck

you’ll have some lashes

alright!

3. Final Revelation

Smudge that lipstick

ever so slightly.

Over your Cupid’s bow

and just under your lip.

For a natural and messy pout.

I adore cute faux freckles 💕

img_6283-1

Now let me go wash my face.

For more tips on common sense,

beauty, and fashion

for the apple shaped women

Let Midorilei inspire you❣️

 

Kareena’s Grand Entrance

Surprise you’re having a baby!

  • pexels-photo.jpg

July 29, 2015 was a mild Wednesday morning.
I dropped my husband
off at work and I made
my way to pregnancy class.
We shared a car
back then because
I had left mine
at my parents and
I just didn’t need it.
It’s a 30 minute drive to the hospital.

pexels-photo-243116.jpeg

I sign in at the front
and search for my name tag.
We carousel
around the room
to each midwife
for our individual checkups.
I step onto the scale
for my weight
and we continue
our usual routine.

medical-appointment-doctor-healthcare-40568.jpeg

Every other week
I make my way down
to Portland to meet
with the group of women
I’ve shared pregnancies with
and our midwives.

As I am checked for size.
The baby appears a bit small.
She asks me
if I have felt the baby
move lately,
and I could not recall.
We assume her to be asleep.
We hear her heart beat
through a handheld
fetal doppler.
Maybe I’m preoccupied
and unaware
when she is active?

pregnant-pregnancy-maternity-mom-161485.jpeg

I had an appointment
Scheduled for
later that day.
I ask her if we could
Just do it after
our class instead.
She can’t see
why not.
Problem solved.

We start taking our seats
as we
chitter chatter
about our pregnancies.
Bemused,
I was asked
If I was even pregnant,
I looked small.
I slapped back,
yeah I’ve been
attending these meetings on my own whim.
(What else do I say?!)
The couple smiled
and gathered themselves.
Surely, it’s because
of my baggy top?

We all quiet down
as class starts.
The topic was
about delivery.
I had notes
and a few
questions to ask
during open
discussion time.

pen-writing-notes-studying.jpg

Class ends and we small talk
while parting ways.
There is an
unspoken tension.
The end is nigh.
Which one of us
will pop first?
I bet on the lady next to me,
She’s huge!

I walk to the main clinic
and call my husband.
I let him know that
I will be heading home
right after.
He suggested I reschedule
my appointment .
It only seemed logical.
The pregnancy brain phenomenon
was great with me.
( it’s a Legitimate thing , I kid you not.
I will have another
story on that later.)

I Can’t believe
I fell subject
to a stereotype!
Anyhoo,I was
looking forward
to heading back home
and going about
the usual.
It’s a 30 minute drive
without traffic.
I do not want
to come back here.

Sitting in the waiting room
with me is a very pregnant
woman.
I’m wondering
how uncomfortable
she must be.
This is my fate.
But I only have 3 weeks left?

pexels-photo.jpeg

Maria!!
What luck,
I got called back quick.
The nurse
hooks me up
to the monitor.
I browse
through my phone.
I glance up and
her face changes,
she drops her tools
and runs out of the room yelling.
I was stunned.
What happened?
We just heard
the heart beat
about an hour ago
everything seemed fine.
What could have happened
in this short span of time?
What are the chances?
Another nurse
scurries in with her.
I had a few questions to ask
But I let them continue,
they watched
the monitors
feed intently.

pexels-photo-263194.jpeg

They sigh relief.
Was this a common mistake?!
They needed me
to stay for a few hours
to make sure everything
Was still fine.
I guess we had to
see some peeks
by a certain amount
of time and we were good.

I handed my phone
over to the nurse
To explain herself.
I also texted my doula
who was on vacation.
I let her in on all
the happenings.
The nurses wanted
me to go to imaging
and get an ultrasound.
extra reassurance,
A clearer image
of course.
Such great nurses.

Honestly, must be
nothing too serious
if I’m just walking
all over this campus
in the heat of summer.

sun-fireball-solar-flare-sunlight-87611.jpeg

Hot and flustered
I check into imaging.
During the ultrasound
I prod the tech
for what she’s
worth and is
deemed useless.
Finally,
the doctor walks in,
hopefully she knows
how to read a sonogram.
Somethings wrong
with the umbilical cord.

That can’t be
too serious right?

Like hiccups?

She adds,
I was probably
not going home
and I needed
to go to L&D
for continued
monitoring.

Probably?

Continued monitoring?

Why is there
so much uncertainty?

It’s either good or its bad.

I go to labor and delivery
to get the
“continued monitoring”

As I’m walking down
the hall

it starts…

to…

settle…

in…

I have toured this hall.
This is where
women are giving birth.

Wait, Why I’m here!?

red-school-blur-factory.jpg

I get set up in a room
and get all hooked up
by a couple of nurses.
My midwife comes
into the room.
She tries to explain
to me what’s about to happen,
It goes over my head.
this is all
too much, too soon.
And I may not have
slept well last night
as per usual.
I appear to be listening
and in comes an Obstetrician
introducing himself
and his 2 understudies.
Is this what she was trying
to Relay to me?

doctor-medical-medicine-health-42273.jpeg

His bedside manners,
smooth and comforting
He is confident.
Takes a good look
at me and sees
I’m not chaste
to the scalpel.
He tells me
he will see me later.
Unphased I jest
hopefully not.
The midwife
was unsettled.
I still thought
I was going home.
Apathetic and in denial.
I wasn’t trying to be rude,
I just didn’t realize
that I would be
seeing him again.

They conspired and
thought the baby
would be healthier
on the outside.
I mask my surprise.
I play it cool.
We choose a natural route
because I’m savage,
but I like the knife too.
Can I call my husband?
I couldn’t put a cohesive sentence together.
I hand the nurse my phone.

pexels-photo.jpg
“Your having a baby today.”
Modesty was thrown out window
and all sorts of
stuff was attached.
My husband walks in.
Everything was like
an out of body experience.
How did he get here
and during rush hour?

pexels-photo-338154.jpeg

I made a birth plan
and it just got thrown
out the window.
It’s the stereotype,
but who cares
I want what’s best,
And on a side note
I like all the commotion
in the operating room
it’s fascinating.

medic-hospital-laboratory-medical-40559.jpeg
Im sitting on a table
I am getting a stick up my back
I feel week,
so I get nervous laughter
I giggle to the nurse
holding me tell her
I’ve a had spinal tap
done before
Just to show her
my confidence.
Unimpressed she
tells me to hold still
I feel it kicking in
so I don’t mind her dismissal.
I giggle within to myself, whatever.

So we paid for
a doula, now what?
We had already
taken all our
classes and we were
prepared for our
natural birth
in pool.
I was now on the
operating table
in an awkward
face up arms out
situation.
I kept asking for my husband.
He was told to change
and was waiting.
They weren’t going to
start on me
without him
in the room.
He’s gotta see it all.
He sat by my side
opposite the anesthesiologist.
My love and my drug lord.

I felt very weak
and kept asking
if I was dying.
I think I was high
but also felt like
passing out.
He confirmed again
that I was fine,
and no I was not dying
just my blood pressure dropping.
or something like that,
that I can recall.

pexels-photo-263210.jpeg

One, two, three, four!
The doctor called out
as he unwrapped the cord
from the baby’s neck.
She was whisked away.
What kind of technology is that?!
You couldn’t see
that from the sonogram?!
I almost lost
my little baby.
She was struggling
inside of me and
I didn’t know!
It still makes me sick.
By sheer coincidence,
we happen to reschedule
my appointment for earlier.
Thank God everything
worked out.

pexels-photo-734541.jpeg
At 4:29pm
Kareena, made her grand debut.

Newborn + Road Trip

What not to do


This is a long and cruel
story on how NOT to take
care of a newborn
along with really bad timing.
Here’s the backstory-
My husband had received a job
offer in Tennessee.
I was happy, we would be
living closer to family
and my parents were
patiently ecstatic.
We were going to be
just a few hours away
and bringing their first grandchild.
Also because
“where the hell is Oregon
and who lives there?
Let’s start with the moment
I realized I was starting
to lose my mind.
It was eight in the morning
and we had made it to Nebraska.
We found the only
civilization off the highway
was a forsaken gas station.
He needed to shut eyes
for at least an hour.
My husband had been
driving for too many
hours on zero sleep.
We pulled into the gas station
and parked alongside
overnight freight.
He made himself as
comfortable as possible
in the front seat and
I tried to keep her asleep,
blocking the window from the
emerging September sun.
We chanced a hotel last night
somewhere in Wyoming,
there was no way we could make it
through that state in the dark.
But we never slept!
Why didn’t she sleep!?
Gambling, could we make it
across the country
alive or at-most intact?
I couldn’t crash,
I kept thinking
we had to keep driving
for as long and as far as possible.
we had to survive,
we needed help!
There was a dog
in the semi next to us
a pastime for my
painfully dry and heavy eyes.

The hour came and went…
And the dashes
on the road continued
as we tortuously moved
at a snails pace towards succor.
We had energy drinks,
music, and conversation.
I googled answers
for distressing conundrums.
And I searched through
history and blogs for a kindred crux
to see if chap survives.
You technically can’t die
from sleep deprivation.
We did everything to keep us from
running off the road.
Delirious on a blend of
sleep deprivation and colic,
we were hauling ass from
Portland Oregon
to Knoxville Tennessee…

Attached to our SUV
was a small U-Haul
heavy with our livelihood.
And tetrised comfortably
at hands-reach were all essentials
needed to nurture
my fragile needy look-alike.
Deranged,
never-failing her next bottle or cry,
circumscribed I was incoherent.
Assimilation of a flight,
with a newborn,
Alone For five hours…
All while my husband
hauled our belongings
across the United States of America
– I could NOT process-!
Everything could have
been shipped.
We could have trashed it all
and taken a flight.
The timing was stupefying,
a road trip seemed like the only way
to keep our new life
a wee bit predictable.
Was I Unreasonable?
I was working with very
little mental capacity,
I felt safe with all our things.
And given our haphazard,
temperamental situation
a flight could have been
just as harsh.

So don’t judge.
I’m just getting started!

We were a couple of weeks
into our new roles as parents and…
“the struggle was real”.
Our hardest decisions were
to either eat, sleep, or shower,
we barely did any
and it was catching up to us.
I started hearing and seeing things.
With eyes glazed over,
scenarios crept in
and chewed on reason.
The newborn was coming
around the corner speaking?
Insane, I’m hallucinating.
Or was she scheming against us?
She knew I would be watching
in the dark only to lock eyes
and scare me half to death.
Those boxes I packed earlier
just shifted slightly!
Where her eyes even open?
She was sleeping
and I was paranoid.
I was afraid she would wake
and need so much
I could barely give.
As a sprouting schizo
and still having the wherewithal,
I scheduled an appointment
with a psychiatrist
as soon as I could.
The horrow to keep a newborn alive
and make arrangements for a move.
She came a bit earlier
than expected,
Negligible if even an inconvenience.
Sarcastic much?
Nay.

Ode to the night hours
The noises coming out of
this little body would make
me tense.
I would be semi- asleep
and the sound of a small animal
would jolt me, it hurt my soul.
Even when she was sound asleep
I was on edge that at the moment
I fell asleep she would wake up.
This went on for months.
A rouge restless sleep
that made you nauseous.
One night my husband
being all chivalrous
promised me a few hours of sleep.
My anxiety wouldn’t let me rest
so I popped in a sleeping pill,
long story short I didn’t get to sleep.
I started to doze off
while holding the baby
and I almost dropped her,
luckily I startled myself
and favorably without waking her!
The struggle to stay awake
was turning my stomach.
I felt the depth and fade
of that capricious pill.
I didn’t remember
the the last time I had slept.
I saw every hour on the clock.
Endless bouncing, swaddling,
Unswadding, Feeding, Changing.
We didn’t have swings and such
because we were moving.
My husband rocked her
in the heavy car seat for hours,
pacing back-and-forth
throughout the apartment
at all hours
and went to work each morning
to wrap up projects
before transitioning jobs.
How long would this last?!
S.O.S

Before embarking on this odyssey
we faced a road block. (HA!)
She wouldn’t take
to me or formula
so we were exclusively pumping.
We made it to Knoxville in 3 days.
Disordered into a hotel at 4am.
The only reason we got a room
was because we couldn’t get our
key till 9 and it wouldn’t
have made a difference.
I was basically in and out of
consciousness that month.
I recall sitting on the bed
getting ready to change her diaper,
I put her in front of me,
and my eyes glazed over.
If we had made it to Knoxville
before she was born
and had everything set…
We could have nested…
We would have had an easier time..
If I knew all of this would
have happened I could have…
Snap out of it!
Am I sleeping?
Not too much time had passed
because nothing
significant happened.
The baby was sleeping
in front of me
and I realize I had
not yet changed her diaper.

He made the started
for our apartments office.
Ultra-precise he receives a call,
the furniture people
were at the gate to set up!
Jonathan I want to thank you
for making us a priority that day.
I was his first caller on Tuesday.
I was vigilant on operating hours.
I was traveling time zones,
making phone calls and provisions.
He did mention having kids
so either I spoke English or he
understood my in and out jargon.
And because we could do
without his deals
we must have seemed eager.
Looking back I wonder What
I must have sounded like
on the phone.

I organized my pumping equipment
and washed my pieces.
Made sure we didn’t leave anything
behind in the room
and the baby and I
made our way to
continental breakfast.
The apartment was ready for us
It was 2 minutes away.
My husband picked us up
and We were now alone
in our new nicely furnished home,
such a beautiful little family.
We snapped.
Manic, I would describe
my husband
and without hesitation
started unloading the uhaul
bringing boxes up
three flights of stairs.
I was hiding in the closet
sobbing, admittedly hitting my head
against the wall,
albeit bouncing idol.
I had just enough foresight
to defend her term,
the incessant crying!
It was ours to have,
but we couldn’t wake up
or escape the demented sequence,
our anguish.
I seemed preoccupied
so he continued.
I didn’t want him to see
I was hopeless.
Propriety was left at the hospital
and destitution wrecked our psyche.
My husband had gone mad
and the last strand
of strength I had
broke.
I lost control.

We stayed the night.
And my husband soaked
in our jacouzi bath.
We arranged everything
to get to Atlanta
as soon as possible.
We left the next morning.
I called my parents
before heading down
I told them how happy
and in need we were.
I don’t remember if I had cried
but I had no dignity
to hold either way.
We reached Atlanta
that afternoon
and sat in traffic for 6 hours.
we were filled with
so much anticipation
that it didn’t bother us
we were just so close.
What difference
would a little detour
make at this point right.
When we got into town
We stopped my father’s job
to surprise him.
My father was so happy to see us
and so very proud
that he presented us
and his granddaughter
to coworkers and supervisors.
I’m glad I made the effort
to change my clothes
and look alive because
I was soiled with milk
and who knows what else.

I will add to this as I get more
time to write.
Thanks for tuning in!

Complicated oats

My ventures with porridge 🥣

So recently my family and I have ventured into A more healthier diet.

My husband has completely gone vegan!? What?!

I am 60/40 (never fully committed… realist)

We have started dishes with ingredients never used before such as Farro, Kamut, amaranth!?

And other such things that sound very exotic…

These kinds of foods we don’t normally eat so we decided to try something new and let me tell you it’s different!

It can be tasty if you’re creative…

I am enjoying the experimentation in the kitchen… it’s bonding ❤️

My husband and I are coming up with all sorts of stuff,

Here’s one… it started out being simple overnight oats…

put some rolled oats in a jar with preferred liquid and whatever topping and put in the fridge…

right..simple

Then we started complicating things…

We decided to do away with anything processed and it turned into this.

So far this is how I make my family’s breakfast:

1. Put hard red spring berries, oat groats and water into a pot rinse to remove impurities then I let soak. I also add buckwheat to my cereal it takes longer to soften so I do the same process in a different pot.

2. I add an acidic base like apple cider vinegar.

3. Let sit for 2 days covered.

4. Mix occasionally.

5. After 48 hours cook on medium high till boil. Stir to avoid clumps or burning.

6. Let cool.

7. Rinse well.

8. Mix all grains together and add wheat germ.

6. Transfer cereal into mason jars or storing container.

7. Refrigerate or freeze if you make in bulk like me🤗

Here is more on fermentation 👉time And more 👉I started heretho….👍 Each morning you can take a prepared mason jar for breakfast on-the-go or spoon out oats into a dish and add whatever toppings would like.

My brother-in-law came over for the holidays and threw a spin on it that I absolutely love!

( not so vegan anymore 😭)

Scoop complicated oats into a bowl then add milk, granola, berries, and trail mix of your choice.

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

I’m so excited to add more to our cereal. If you guys have any added suggestions, I will give you credit!

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

I have eaten more oates lately than I have ever have in my entire life.

I’m pretty sure that’s healthy

I don’t have cravings, I am full for longer and let me not forget to mention how much my gut is thanking me.

You can choose to add whatever you’d like.

Here are some other yummy toppings:

cranberries

bananas

strawberries

yogurt

Cocoa powder

Cherries

Nuts

Seeds

Honey

Maple syrup

Different flavors and textures in your mouth all at once makes you forget you’re eating something very healthy

What a yummy, crunchy, twist to this very healthy cereal.

Thank you for perfecting the cereal Kashyap. Let us not forget to sprinkle a little bit of that Ceylon cinnamon on top of everything!

Extracting the nutrition from the seed, anything else is cardboard!

You’re welcome ❣️

Rocket Fizz

img_6096-1

I had been in the mood for trying some old-time Confectionery . We made an evening trip to downtown Portland.

A 20 minute drive to a shop named Rocket Fizz.  Checkout their Instagram here really cute pictures!

It’s a  niche store, they sell all sorts of sweets along with unusual flavored soda and a few Knick knacks.

Old time sweets like the sugary sticks that come in a cigarette box. Many of things I grew up buying from the ice cream truck back in the 90s.

pexels-photo-890469.jpeg

In my opinion this place is not toddler friendly there are glass bottles everywhere. This is a nice place to check after a date or if you’re just sightseeing in the area.

pexels-photo-891289.jpegpexels-photo-943492.jpeg

so they do want your children to go into the store…  😭

Just keep an eye on them and don’t let them distroy things!